I'm trying to write every single day
Well, not here.. on my diary
Online diary
Or notes
Or microsoft words
Or whatever I want to
But, I guess it's pretty hard when you just don't find the time
Or commitment to do so..
Couple of days back have been hard to deal with
Lot's of projects and things to do
Dealing with deadlines and people..
Who are... not very supportive..
Of course..
Defending those who are in need..
Obviously.. because I am that.. caring..
I'm super tired all the time
And then I would feel useless
Because I really wanna do more..
For my family..
For my office
For my friends..
But with this health..
I don't know..
I'm trying.. I know I haven't try my best and that kinda make me angry inside..
I keep on telling myself it's not that easy..
But I also keep being reminded of the Quran verse which said:
Allah will not give you burden more than you can endure
Hanging there Nana..
Everything's gonna be alright..
About 50 percent people I know wishing me a good health though
I guess words spread that I have illness..
Funny thing though.. I never "not accepting" this illness...
I'm just like.. "oh no... "and then that's it.
I moved on..
Actually whenever I'm sick.. I never protested..
I just accepted it.. I mean.. there's always part of me which think:
I deserve this, cause I'm not a good person
And this illness will make me a better person..
Then again, I guess Allah give me strength to accept this illness..
Just maybe.. maybe.. Allah will bless me with health and lift this illness out of me..
Maybe I will live longer and see my grandchildren..
Maybe..
So... yeah..
Good night
#cancer
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